I had been silent for several days, but not without good reason. You see, I had to take a Big Leap of my own, before I could lead our Sage Success Studio Facebook community any farther. Then, I made a decision, that for some might not seem to be such a big deal, but for me, it was huge.
I decided not to renew my apartment lease in Downtown Wilmington, Delaware, a city I have come to love as much as Nazareth, Israel. Wilmington, a place where I grew my local business and tribe, a place where I lived on my own for the first time in my life, and came of age as a single, midlife woman.
Now, I know it's time for another season of growth.
And that means leaving the security of my beloved Wilmington, and taking a Big Leap, to let go of everything that is not in alignment to my tribe and my God-given gifts and strengths, and the knowledge, wisdom and experience I’ve gained through the years.
I almost ditched on myself and let the resistance, fear and upper limit belief hold me back.
I’m so grateful to God for bringing a timely word from those closest to me, giving the encouragement and support I needed, to take that next courageous step. There is wisdom in a multitude of counselors, it says in Proverbs, and it blessed me for them to hold space for me. They saw in me what I couldn’t see in and for myself.
The decision was a process and surprisingly, the thing I battled most, was F.E.A.R.
FOMO, Ego, Attachment and Resistance.
It can be like that when we're about to make a life-changing decision. Just like that we can be stopped in our tracks and start to peddle back from all that is there for us OR we can be brave and push through to the other side of F.E.A.R.
I knew I had a critical decision to make.
The clock was ticking down as the days passed. I prayed about it, sought the counsel of others about it, but when it finally came down to it, with just a few hours left I decided to make a bold, courageous move to not renew my lease for Wilmington and head to southern Delaware.
Then, I found this beautiful quote that suited me perfectly in a blog called, When You’re Strong Enough to Leave a Place You Love, by Alexis Gavrelis, March 3rd 2017. What a perfectly timed word for me, and my sentiment exactly, “I can love a place with every inch of me, it can love me back, and I can still let it go. I can still wander on.”
It reminded me of leaving Nazareth, and now here I am saying goodbye to Wilmington. The motto of this city is "A Place To Be Somebody." And, that is my own story in the years that I have lived, worked and played here.
Now that the decision is made, I know it was the right one. I know that the upcoming move is the next, best step for me. My next, big leap to do my most aligned work is directly tied to my willingness to let go of my attachments, let go of the past and the security of the familiar, and trust God as I more fully and wholeheartedly embrace autumn, this beautiful, vibrant season of midlife.
So, here’s what I happened as I considered writing a new chapter in my life:
1. FOMO set in and washed over me like ways waves. The dreaded fear of missing out as I thought of all the things happening in the city now and what I might miss out on. Really? Could that hold me back from my next, best steps for myself?
2. Then, Ego started to tell me a story and remembered that ego is “edging greatness out” and I could feel it trying to do just that. Would I let it?
3. Attachments tugged at me. This was probably the biggest thing as I realized how I was anchored to a location, the my furniture, to my apartment, the the past. How grateful I am for the moments of epiphany that almost knocked me backwards off my chair. I'm grateful for those closest to me willing to speak straightest to me. And, grateful for the timeliness of books and blogs, sent to talk to me just at the perfect moment.
4. Lastly, is Resistance, the drag force on our most audacious dreams and goals, descending on our vision like cloud, impairing the view to see clearly.
Funny, that I started taking about living and working in our zone of genius and taking a courageous big, daring leap at midlife, and then was shocked when I found what was being asked of me if I wanted that next level of growth and wholehearted alignment to my zone of genius as well.
And so, with just a few hours to spare, I hit send and put into momentum with one click, the next chapter of my life.
While I know that tears will come as I pack up the beautiful chapter of my Wilmington life, I know I'll take the most wonderful memories with me, as well as all the growth that led to this very place.
I love the Hafiz quote, “The place where you are now, God circled on a map for you.” Each place is the perfect preparation for the next. Each season, full and brimming over with potential for our greatest growth and good.
Pushing past fear and all that I could have possibly forfeited, I decided instead to trust that God is making my path straight as I put my trust in Him, that He's opening new doors for me.
So onward to more fully Embracing Autumn, to stepping more fully into the beautiful gifts God gave me on my birthday, trusting that the way will unfold as it should and that I will have all that I need when I need it.
Grace sufficient, love that covers, hope like an anchor, faith that sees what isn’t yet there.
So, Sage Sisters, let’s do this. Let’s take a Big Leap together. Let’s trust that there is so much for us in this season, and let’s pursue it like never before.
I am beyond honored to be on this journey with you and can’t wait to see all that awaits us as we each take a courageous and brave Big Leap to live and work in the greatest, most wholehearted alignment we’ve ever known. Here we go!
Not yet a member of the Sage Success Studio Tribe? I invite you to join our community of midlife women entrepreneurs, creatives, change agents and difference makers in our Facebook community. I look forward to seeing you there!
DD NOTE 10/27/20: I ended up staying in Wilmington to downsize first which has been a bigger leap than I anticipated. Letting go of things I had been hanging onto for years, opening my hands and yes, my heart, to say goodbye to things that somehow had woven themselves into my identity.
A move to the beach is coming, but not just yet. First, is to learn to lighten my footprint and my grip on what no longer serves me so that when I finally make that move, I do it from a place of even greater alignment.